Liberty Enlightening the World

Liberty Enlightening the World
La Liberté éclairant le monde

Monday 31 October 2011

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The Safety Dance (Extended Version) from Men Without Hats on Myspace.

Thursday 20 October 2011

WHAT iS Love ♥?

Fear of love and knowing if love is real

You sit and hold my gaze; looking into me rather than at me. You speak quietly, deliberately choosing words which keep you safe and free of obligation or misunderstanding. You use words other than the one you really want to express. The true meaning hides behind those eyes and in the tone of your voice - it is a different interpretation. You are not saying what you are saying and you leave me with no doubt that this is not to be challenged or even questioned.
I feel you move towards me. Are you reaching out or pulling me forward? I do not know; as I sense this but I do not see it - you did not move.
I am hearing your words and understanding what you think I should receive. I respond in the way that addresses your issues; reassuring you without defining what I am really hearing. Yes, there is an elephant sitting on the table but we all pretend not to notice.
I am looking at a photograph of myself on the back wall of your heart. I wander through the secret room in your mind; where you have long and honest conversations with me. Not like now, when everything is guarded and monitored. No, in your secret room which you think is yours alone - I do come. In the still of night you summon me there and you speak with naked thoughts.
Your voice is hypnotic and my mind is wandering. I am circling above you and looking down into a labyrinth. You are a child hiding in the center. You are calling me and laughing that I will never find you. From above I know you are not laughing and this is not a childish game that you play. I see you crouched and afraid and begging me to reach you. You are alone and lost there - but calling it safe. Do the walls keep your fears out or do they simply imprison you? I run through dead end corridors frantically calling to you. I am afraid and panicked and scratch myself through hedges trying to shortcut the confusion. I hear you laugh - I sense you cry.
I have entered the labyrinth a hundred times but I have never managed to find you. I am left devastated and you are disappointed. You tell yourself if I really cared I would not give up. I wonder why you won't just walk out or meet me half way.
It's the daemons you say. Did you say that or did I just know that? The daemons within the child are still trapped within the man. Like footsteps outside the bedroom door as you hold yourself in a foetal position and pray that the door is locked. If the past should revisit, will it bring with it all of its carnage and destitution? Well that's a little strong perhaps, but that's how you really remember it; the isolation, betrayals and abandonment. What is this I ask and you reply, 'This is Love'.
And yes, I long for love. To feel it, give and receive it - to trust in it. It is an endless and relentless hunger; a quiet demand and a delirious obsession. I have been seduced by its magic and been thrilled by its promise. I have been touched and nurtured and cradled like a baby. I have danced with a translucent body and sung songs without words. I have been illuminated and energized. I even thought I saw the face of God once or twice.
They say that love is not for the feint-hearted. What an understatement. I have crawled on my knees and been kicked like a dog. I have had my heart chewed out and spat away. I have been diminished by loves humiliation and fickle games. Abandoned - like ash inside skin and silently screaming. I have been left impotent and castrated in more ways than one.
Don't say the word, I won't respond. It's a taboo subject; I won't be seduced by your interpretation or promises. Let's talk about sex and how your body can thrill me. I will speak of friendship, affection and caring. I'll play mental mathematics with you; pragmatic, cynical or ponderous. Hypothetically, we might talk about 'The Others'.
I watch as you fall backwards and then down deep into yourself. You ask your heart to explain itself. The emotional aspects of love are a kaleidoscope, smoke and mirrors, ocean waves and fragments of glass; unpredictable, indefinable and ever changing. There is nothing solid here and nothing sustainable or of any real substance.
The mind unpacks boxes with labels and history reveals itself. Love is a prison and a man is held in bondage. A woman's agenda is always about control and possession. Love is a weapon no less than a sword. Don't tear out my vulnerabilities just to blackmail me later with what you thought I promised. Protector, provider and puppet are only your projections. I am afraid that you will own me as much as I am afraid that you will reject me.
No, love can not be measured by emotion or intellect; of this I am sure. Let's talk of sex and lust. I understand my hunger and predict my satisfaction. There is a banquet on offer and with some careful consideration and appropriate manners I can take my fill and then take my leave. Call me greedy or send me the bill but it's an honest transaction at least. A man must do what a man must do and you may well afford me a little flexibility or discretion. If I pleasure you and thrill you then surely you can call it love, but not hold me to any debit. Let me remind you once again, "I did not say I loved you".
If it isn't named then it isn't claimed!
We have witnessed fields of broken dreams and you wondered aloud if love could last forever. Is there really a special 'One' for all of us? Are you testing me with casual and cryptic clues? Am I on trial before your trust? Don't speak to me of things long past. I too have traveled your roads, but all roads led to here. Don't make me be your whipping boy for the sins of all the others.
Do I need to die before you concede that I was the one?
I am certain of this: I have seen it written across the sky. This is the real deal - the day that destiny came to now.
Will we accept it? Can we step up and into it? I watch your face and your hesitation; I hear you think to yourself, I do love you. It's foreign and uncomfortable. You say it again and listen; uncomfortable and threatening. You feel the fear come to surface and swallow it down again. I love you - you regurgitate. The daemons rise but you command them back; they cower in the corner. Do I love you? I want to love you, can I love you - do you love me?
But, what about..? Can you promise me..? What if..?
You slump in your chair and draw a breath as you search for your words. Your eyes penetrate me and your words bounce around the room before I am able to grasp them. "What is your definition of love? If we take away our history, eliminate the intellectual, emotional and sexual - then tell me what, 'I love you,' really means?"
If I am not my body, have no thought or emotion, do I even exist? Yes, I am sure I do. If I exist, do I still feel love and am I capable of giving or receiving love? I sense my answer from knowing this more than any truth I have ever known, "Love is who and what I am".
Then how can you say you love me?
In this pure and uncontaminated state, I stand before you, more naked than air. Perhaps for the very first time you will see me as I see you. You are my reflection.
Copyright Sonya Green 2006
Sonya Green (West Australian) Author of Reinventing Myself. Meditation CD productions and webmaster

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Wednesday 12 October 2011

Alexandrine Parrot

 How Not To Fall In Love With Your Best Friend

Is it possible to have a best friend of the opposite sex and not be romantically involved with them? The answer is yes. Stereotypically, we may think if a guy and a girl spend time together more than they do with their other friends, then something more than just the usual friendship is going on between them. But in a world of so much open-mindedness and equitableness, that is our world, this no longer needs a powwow.
Here are some tips that I find useful since my best friend is also a guy. He gives me all the reasons to fall in love with him, since he is so the ideal type, but I try my best to always have my counter strikes. I choose not to; I want not to.
1. START YOUR FRIENDSHIP WITH THE END IN MIND. It is important that you, on the very onset of your friendship, set your mind that your best friend will always be your best friend, nothing more, nothing less. The 'mind over matter' rule could still apply. Make a personal rule that it is forbidden to entertain any thoughts regarding your best friend being your ideal partner, or else, you will always hold on to that mental note and eventually, label him as an ideal partner not as a best friend. Whenever your mind accidentally crosses that line, shake it off as soon as you can.
2. CHOOSE NOT BE ATTRACTED. It is normal and sometimes inevitable to be attracted to your best friend. But of course, you have become the best of friends because you have seen qualities in each other that you find fascinating or plainly, attractive. So, don't feel so bad or sheepish whenever you feel attracted but learn to go back to reality. Whenever you see his best side, humorously divert your attention to his worst side. It helps. From being the good looking, almost perfect best friend to his eccentricity of burping like a frog, or farting like a pro, if there is such.
3. VERBALIZE HOW YOU SEE HIM AS YOUR BROTHER (OR A SISTER IF YOU'RE A GUY!). This is again for your own sake. It is to season your mind that there is a red line between liking him and loving him like your sibling. Call him brother all the time. Associate him with your real brother, if you have one. Having a male best friend is so special and gratifying, because you could always ask him a male's point of view regarding anything, for free. It is expedient to run to him for an advice regarding your personal issues, whether this is regarding your relationship with other people, or sometimes, economic issues, to draw the line that he is, indeed, your brother who could help you, even in the most non-romantic ways.
4. BE EMBARRASSED WITH THE POSSIBILITY. I suggest that you keep the cattiness, at least, just to not fall for your best friend. Just imagine how he could totally turn away from you, 360 degrees, if he finds out you are engrossing yourself with imaginations of things friends are not supposed to do. Well, technically, I would not know how on earth will he find out that he is involved in your phantasm, but just imagine how awkward would that make him feel that at some point, you have envisioned him being idealistically linked to you, in not so wholesome manner. Imagine how that would make you feel, too!
5. FINALLY, CHOOSE TO LOVE HIM AS YOUR BEST FRIEND. Personally, I could give my life for my best friend. I could give anything for him. There were moments when I would actually ponder if I was attracted to him in some other ways or if it was more of being overwhelmed that I actually have a man in my life who cares and loves me like his own blood sister, even if I am not his family. That is just way too much of a deluge sometimes. A man who is so good to you and so believes in you like no other men do. Minus all the sexual thoughts and intentions. That is, let me say it again, overwhelming, nowadays.
I was inspired to write this because honestly, I have been bothered by my having a guy best friend. Not really bothered by the relationship itself but how people around us see it. He would tell me how his brother asked him if he ever courted me, or how his father would sometimes throw wisecracks at him regarding me as his just friend, or how my sisters would tease me every time I mention his name. I chose to be his best friend and that's what forever I will be. Again, it is a decision, not merely an emotion. The fact is, he is everything that I would like my eternal companion to be- brainy, expressive, outspoken, artistic, hilarious and pompous, in a good way...but he is my best friend. For once in my life, I was able to find a very solid friendship founded on trust, confidence and love and I do not want to, even if this is just speaking theoretically, to ruin this one precious, oh-so-good-thing that I have with him, just because of my dopey and mindless self-professed feelings. Never. I know in my heart that both our intentions towards each other are always, chaste and objective. I will never ever fall in love with my best friend.
I have always been taught to keep a journal. Having and keeping one will always give us the freedom to write all our emotions, both pleasant and not. These real-life experiences that we go through everyday are the best teacher, far better than any other self-help books or the most acclaimed movies. The learning does not just stop when you write them, it continues when you share it with other people. We are our own authors. Let's all write our stories well.
Anna Lorraine Miranda-Baysa is a 30-year-old mother of two and currently lives in Makati City, Philippines. She has been a constant journal-keeper for more than a decade, thus, enhancing her love for writing feature articles. She had served as a Features Editor in high school, a Contributor in their college schoolpaper as well as in their Church Institute Newspaper. Other than this, she worked as a disc jockey/ newscaster in a local radio station for five years. As a fledgling writer, she would like to concentrate on topics of Photography, Motherhood, Friendship and Love. She is currently working on her very first novel,too.

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